Metaneos

Guess I needed to stop being lazy, and resume blogging. Thought it was important, because people are just so gods-be-damned wrong about what's going on in the world.

For the past year, I'd been struggling within. For a long time, I'd been telling myself, "I'm such an idiot. I'm a loser." I realized, one day, last year sometime, I can't be telling myself this. If there's a truth in the world, it's an insult always hurts. I can't be hurting myself, any longer. Even with words. And I was hurting myself, daily. Hourly, even. I had to change my thinking. Bit by bit, every day, keeping constant attention upon my own thoughts. Every time I thought a self-degrading thought such as, "I'm a loser", I had to instantly think, "I can't think like this. I’m not an idiot. I'm not a loser." It took time. And then eventually, I realized, I'd gone for months without thinking a self-harming thought. And from this, I've changed a little for the better. I'm less afraid of going out. And insults from others hurt much less. I'm still a long ways away from healthy, but for t...

To announce, I'm still alive. Slogging through the detritus of my own mind, lately. I'm mentally ill, and face difficulties getting out of bed, and after that, getting out of the home. My pessimistic attitude regarding the direction the world is heading helps none, either. But, I'll try. I'll try to make a habit of writing, this year. I'll try to keep up to date on what's happening, these days, and to inform myself of what might happen next. For instance, there's rumblings out there in the world of a serious recession, this year. Are you all saving your money? I hope so. Times will get tough, this year, again. We're at a point, now, where there's a slight danger of entering into an uncontrolled deflationary cycle. Do you think Canada's prepared? The USA? Even if they were prepared to do something, what could they actually do? Not much. Manufacturing was heavily shipped over seas. Manufacturing is the backbone of any economy. And with the remo...

I'm happy the NDP lost the election. Very happy. It first lost its values and principles, and now, it's lost the election. Thankfully. I'm marginally happy the Liberals won. They've done alright toward First Nations in the past, but I have major concerns regarding their policies concerning the environment and corporate crime.

The climate is changing. We, too, should be changing. Our hearts, our minds. It should all change. The world tomorrow will not be the same as the world today. Today's world has little similarity with yesterday's. We can look to the past, and see what has all happened, but to see the future, we need to turn ourselves around. All we do is watch the past. We know nothing but the past. Since we know the past so intimately, shouldn't we then know the future? We do know it, though. Its form, its voice. We know it. We should know it. We know the world is going to be a difficult place to survive as today's events continually pile upon one another to give the future world its shape. We know. What the hell do we do, then? We are faced with dire prospects. We are in danger. Extinction is probably not merely a prospect any longer, but something more definite. For nearly a century, the human world faced annihilation from nuclear war. We are in the same danger, again, from ...

Been looking for work. Not super hard, though. Just meandering, really, in my efforts. It's my pessimistic, attitude, I suppose. Lost my last two jobs, one due to the economy, and the other due to my bad back. What's the point in looking for work now, I wonder? Ah well, I suppose I could try harder. But who'd wanna hire a thrice time loser like me, who has a bad attitude to boot? Not me, that's for sure. Can't stand people like me, always making excuses not to work. I've been using WorkBC's services. But it's all a big joke to me. Seems like a poor second cousin to the agency it'd replaced, some few years back. But that's how it is, right now. Social conditions have utterly gutted the employment market. And what's worse, the job market is so terrible right now, I'm reduced to having to use meaningless buzz terms such as employment market and job market. And almost as bad as all that, is the depressed job market has gutted employment...

And by love, I mean hate, of course. That should be obvious, right? When I say I love something, of course I could actually mean the opposite, in a counter-intuitive sort of way. Spent yesterday, and the previous day, working on a computer that had failed, spectacularly. Lemme say something. I hate Windows Update. It's slow, and it's painful. But gods be damning, it's necessary. You gotta run it, once a week, at least. But using the program after you've just installed Windows onto a PC. It's a drawn out, frustrating process. It's hateful. It's wrong. It leaves you questioning yourself, wondering if this is a sort of BDSM sort of play, but only with you and the computer in front of you: "Is this wrong? Am I wrong? But why does this feel so right?" And the time you've got to spend on this could be used for so much else in life. You could write a resume, submit it to employers, interview, start the job, and then quit it, all the while screami...

I've been away from writing for perhaps too long. I've been burned out. Events in my own life, combined with my pessimistic attitude regarding events ongoing in the real world have dampened my inner fire. Alas, I've had no idea what to do with this blog, so I've been letting it sit, inactive. However, such is wasteful. I want to write on everything, but I've been hesitant to do so with this blog. Therefore, I haven't been writing about anything. I suppose I'm terrible like that. So, I'll change my mind, and do something new. I'll write on anything that passes fancy, whatever that colloquialism means. Which is what the former byline of this blog used to say, but I never heeded my own theme for this blog. Whatever. This time I mean it. I'll write about anything, now.